Steve

I do not know why my profile says I am 25... and it will not let me change my birth year... I am 48 years old and proud of it! 😆😆😆

Sometimes I think my left eye is higher on my head than my right eye....

I fart. I burp. I cannot imagine what would happen if I tried to hold all that gas in.... am sure I would explode in a big pile of man flesh within 36 hours.

Good morning, sunshine!

I have over 60 pairs of underwear... boxers, briefs, thongs, and whatever else is out there for a man to wrap his goods inside of... probably my favorite is the thong. A thong takes about a week to get used to that "rope" running up the crack of your ass, but it sure does keep the man gear in place and comfortable! Boxers are probably the worst... even though they feel like they offer a lot of freedom, the reality is that there is that seam that runs north and south that can really cut into the shmeshticles if you sit down a little off center! Going "commando" sounds like a good idea also... but again, that seam on the inside of trousers (especially blue jeans), can really cut into the family jewels. Hands down, the man thong is the way to go... just get used to that crawling up your ass for one week and then life is good!

I cannot stand people that stink. This is the year 2014 and the science behind deodorants and cologne/perfume is well developed. There is no excuse to smell like you have not showered in a month. I am sorry, but if you smell, I will be the first one to tell you... as I kindly (or not-so-kindly) instruct you to get the hell away from me.

People with a brain and not afraid to use it....

Men that send me a message asking me if I want to have sex with them. No "Hi," "how are you?," or even an introduction of any form. Just some guy that thinks I have been waiting all of my life for him to ask me to get on my knees and blow his jolly for him...

Women that send me a message asking me if I want to have sex with them. No "Hi," "how are you?," or even an introduction of any form. Just some girl that thinks I have been waiting all of my life for her to ask me to get on my knees and lick her jolly for her....

Come on... that was funny right there! See how likes and dislikes are strictly a matter of perspective????

Yes, I am married. Yes, I am on Tagged. Yes, I have had, and will have, girlfriends. Yes, I understand that this is not considered as being faithful. So, if you are the type of person that is going to state all of this to me... save your breath! I already have two mothers (the one I was born from and the one I am married with) and I do not desire another! If you don't want to chat with a married guy, fine. Just STFU and go on about your day... leave me in peace.

Was that a bit too harsh? Okay... but really, I am a big boy... I know the rule of "cause and effect"... don't preach to me.

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Do female gorillas look at male chimpanzees with lust in their eyes? "Oh yeah, girl! You know that monkey is packing like a donkey!"

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If you do not laugh at even one of my posts on here, then do not send me a message. You are obviously the boring type of thoughtless wonder that just makes me want to beat myself with a handful of spaghetti noodles!!!

Yes, I used the term "retard" to refer to life forms that call themselves human but exist only on a single plane... whether it be religious, moral, sexual, professional... whatever. If you cannot express more than a single source of your reason for existence, then you likely qualify as a retard in my view. And if you are deeply offended by my use of the term "retard," then you certainly fit the definition as I see it.